rejection...

here's what's funny about rejection.

1. I have never in my LIFE been rejected by a guy. Well, at least not one that I've had the balls enough to say what up, i like you, look at my boobs, wanna hang out?? to. No no...they ALWAYS say yes. I do the rejecting. Thanks very much.

2. I'm generally never rejected my people in my life. Nope, loads of people like me. I've got an infectious personality. I'm very persuasive, generally hilarious, and not a terrible listener. I bring you in with the personality and I keep you around with my fabulous cooking skills. Not many people can reject me because even when they do I just continue to hang around until they change their minds.

3. When getting a job I'm NEVER rejected. LITERALLY. EVERY SINGLE INTERVIEW I have ever done I've gotten accepted EVEN if i wasn't qualified at ALL. I one time had to interview with the owner of a well established high end restaraunt because the hiring manager couldn't make the call because i had no waitressing experience at all. *they (as a rule) never hire anyone with less than 2 years server experience* I sold the owner, so much so that he said he would have me trained to work as one of the bar staff *which most servers spend at least 3 years working there before they can even be interviewed to train* I'm fairly sure I could have talked him into having me be an assistant manager but I didn't push my luck.

UNTIL NOW...

I just received my 2nd rejection letter. I mean they are all perfunctery enough, thanks for applying, we filled the position, best wishes...blah blah blah. You know what I want to e-mail back??

Dear respective employer who is missing out by failing to hire me,

You have to be kidding me. I figured you had filled the position after I promptly emailed you a week after you received my AMAZING resume and cover letter and you had yet to respond to my brilliance. When you informed me that the week before you had gotten my resume and said cover letter and that you were calling people for interviews on this said date (one that had already passed) that you had filled the position. Now, some of the people that had applied for this position were obviously brain dead if they hadn't figured out at THIS point that you weren't going to hire them. But not me, I figured you HAD skipped over my resume and cover letter (which i worked on perfecting for you making it snappy and brilliant and a good read since I figured you had many applicants) since you decided to send me an e-mail reply that WAS completely irrelevant. BUT i guess you had to make it ABUNDANTLY clear to me (after 3 weeks) that i was INDEED not receiving this job (that I was ridiculously over qualified for). Thanks for your "deepest regrets" (hope you don't lose much sleep over SUCKING as a human being and being a complete waste of space) and your "best wishes" (my best wish is that gravity momentarily stops working and you catapult into space and that your body collapses on itself...) but please waste those feelings on the useless peon that you hired. Enjoy sucking the soul out of their body until they are but shreds of the person they used to be.

Best wishes and suck on that,

-me

I mean, yes...it's probably a bit harsh but that's what being jobless does to a person. It makes them want to lash out irrationally.